A Deeper Look
by RayJay
Summary: Rin… Why must you stare at me like that? That look in your eyes… it is so foreign yet it feels right all the same. I have wanted to discard you many times for emotions that I had never known started to surface in my hardened heart. They made me realiz


**_A Deeper Look_**

_ By: RayJay_

_A masterpiece between Sesshomaru and Rin. (It's my first so please review!)_

_._

Rin... What do I do with you now?  
  
You are no longer the innocent little human that I had revived with the tenseiga all of those years ago but... dare I think it? You have matured into a lovely young woman whose grace is like the flowers you picked with vigor as a small girl.  
  
You tend to stare at me some nights from your balcony. You think you are hidden but you aren't. Nothing gets passed my eyes, Rin. The eyes of a Taiyoukai. The eyes of a killer. It is what I am. You are going to have to face the truth eventually. I cannot be changed. Yet, your gaze penetrates me with your warmth and adoration and I cannot help but want to be what you see in me.  
  
What have you done to me, human? What have you done to this Sesshomaru over these years? You have become my weakness that is what you have done! You developed what I had never had before and it has been used against me countless times. Naraku used you for a puppet, he captured you, and he lured you out onto the battlefield... And I came to your rescue like a weak fool.  
  
Sometimes I grow frustrated because I wonder why I keep you. Why do I need a young woman who is nearly a century younger than myself? I have never come up with a response. I cannot... for I have never known why I had kept you when I revived you in the forest after the wolves had slaughtered you.  
  
Was it pity? No... This Sesshomaru could never shower you with pity. There was no sympathy either. I do not even know if it was respect. I had thought you either to be very brave or very foolish when you approached me after I had tried to ward you off in my weakened state. But you kept coming back, trying to give me nourishment. None that I would take, however.  
  
Rin... Why must you stare at me like that? That look in your eyes... it is so foreign yet it feels right all the same. I have wanted to discard you many times for emotions that I had never known started to surface in my hardened heart. They made me realize many things that I have never even associated with humans before.  
  
You have a lovely face. You would probably deny it if I ever told you so, for that is how you are. You would tell me that many female youkai who sought my affections were thousands of times more beautiful than yourself. It may be the truth but you are not lovely like they are. Demonesses are insatiable when it comes to mating, who are tainted by the lust that is instinctually buried within their chests and hearts.  
  
You... You have a beauty that I cannot even begin to express. Your modesty and the innocence that shines from your whole being is worth more riches than one Demoness who portrays her body as a playground to all worthy males. Rin, you stun me this way.  
  
I cannot begin to understand your delicate human heart though.  
  
You love me, don't you? I can see it and I can smell it on you when I come nearer to you. But how can you? I have become so cold and closed off from you because of my own confusion. What is there to love about me, Rin? I am a demon who kills living things. Doesn't that frighten you?  
  
You know my true nature. You have seen my rage... I have even tried to leave you in far away places...  
  
Yet I could not bring myself to be apart from you and you desired to be in my presence.  
  
Rin... I feel like I need to be near you... I do not feel like myself when you are not here with me... I cannot even begin to understand my feeling for not even I can interpret my own depth.  
  
There you are now, standing at your balcony again, your eyes shining as you watch me, thinking that I do not hear the quickening pace of your gentle human heart in your chest. Now I turn and meet your eyes, seeing your soft dark depths widening in shock at being discovered, but you never were Rin. I knew you were there the entire time.  
  
I glide up to your balcony, bringing a slight wind that blows your long hair behind you making you look more lovely than you all ready do and land softly in front of you, watching you as you take a step back in surprise.  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama..." you whisper, knowing that I can hear your every word and every body action as your heart beats mercilessly against your chest cavity. I can smell your embarrassment and a bit of arousal. You are so innocent and untainted as you continue to bow to me, expecting to be condemned, I suppose. But... I cannot...  
  
I tell you to look at me, Rin and you do, like the obedient young woman you are most of the time. Your eyes are confused and are searching me for any sign of anger or irritation yet, like always, you can never find any.  
  
You know me all too well Rin for you see that I need something. You ask me what I need and start to revert to your old habits of speaking, using third person as you make up an excuse for staring at me when I was in the garden. I silence you by sliding my large hand under your small, firm and defiant chin and tilt your gaze upwards again.  
  
You look frightened though I know you do not feel so. I feel your skin grow clammy as your tongue darts out to lick your lips nervously. I make anxious, don't I? You make me anxious as well for I cannot justify the sudden rapid beating of my own heart as you break out into gooseflesh whenever I touch you or look at your untainted beauty for longer than a moment.  
  
Then, I slowly bend to kiss your full lips gently and chastely, feeling you tremble beneath my strength as you desperately try to figure out how to reply. The rapping of your heart drowns out all sounds as your breath starts to grow ragged as you wish to make the kiss more than I had initially expected it to be.  
  
I pull back slowly, feeling the surge of lust in my chest that was reflecting in your eyes. You smell of desire and want. And I feel the same way. I ask you if you would have me, removing the section of my robes to reveal the stump I had received years ago that is starting to grow a new arm. It looks sickly but you do not care. You reach up and touch it gently, a small smile alighting your lips as you tell me you love me. You love all of me. I cannot believe you would come out and tell this Sesshomaru, the demon who had been your guardian all of your life, such a thing... but I cannot deny the sense of pride and possession this raises in me.  
  
I lead you to your bed and ask you if you want this. You poor innocent thing... You do not know what is in store for you but you look into my eyes with trust and purity that I am going to claim. You tell me yes. And I act upon it.  
  
You wake, your dark eyes wide when you realize what has happened. You move slowly beside me, your body stiff as you try to comprehend why you feel such. You gave yourself to me Rin and I gladly received you. You massage the tender part of your neck, realizing that it is still raw for some unknown reason. You look to me and wipe a bit of blood from my lips, blushing when you realize that I bit you hard enough to leave a mark. You are mine now Rin. _Mine.  
_  
I did not know that I wanted you this much... but I suppose I needed a deeper look into myself and a deeper look into you, Rin.  
  
**_The End_**


End file.
